High school was variably 'bleh' for me and with a few exceptions, i found it to be a place and time in my life when i felt very much an outsider. To a certain extent, that's lent itself to my current style of living. I continue to be a hermit and struggle to experience independent and social life.
I look at profiles of folks from my year and I see folks who moved half-way around the world for school or work. I see folks who hooked up with others and married practically straight out of high school. Some even have kids.
My how time flies and things change.
This week seems to be one for unreturned emails, calls and texts. It’s been a very slow week – made interminably slower by the fact that i finished a rush of work last week, incorporated, and am waiting to hear back about some more work stuff now. Also, touching base with a few friends has been touchy and difficult lately – rather worrisome.
“All of which makes me anxious, at times unbearably so.” – GorillaZ
Went out with parents last weekend to go check out single flats. A step in the right direction, I suppose. But it was not without intense difficulty and tension.
On the one hand, my mother agrees that i need to get out of the house. On the other hand, any choice i make is terrible and most neighborhoods are to be frowned upon.
She wants to put money down on something to be purchased. I’m open to renting. The places she has her eye on are ridiculously far from amenities. I’d prefer to be closer to trendy/convenient places that don’t require the use of a car.
Unfortunately, of the locations we did check out, none were anywhere near suitable, i’d agree. On the upside we did learn that Forest Hill is very nice… but all of the rentals there are highly likely to be extremely old or extremely lived in. It was not uncommon for us to see nice townhouses or full houses on one side of the street and a severely unkempt low-rise on the other. Also - places to buy in Forest Hill are ridiculously and heart-stoppingly high. Looking for places to live is stressful. :/
All of this is really serving to make me feel isolated. I can’t operate on my own because I live on the terms of the household. I have no social life and have difficulty connecting with others here. I can only hope that moving would help, but it would be nice to be able to get out once in a while and figure things out.
- Mood:
anxious
I want to get in to writing a bit more often. It strikes me that i really haven’t felt up to it until lately, having really taken to services like Twitter and Plurk… (i know, moaning and bellyaching ensue).
It’s just sometimes I feel like i need more than 140 characters to express myself, even if Plurk allows for all pertinent discussion to be contained within individual Plurk pages.
So here I am, poking around with different blogging clients. Hopefully I will be able to configure this so i can post to LJ, my site blog, my work blog, etc etc.
I used to use XJournal a lot on my Mac, but it is dying and i really don’t feel like cracking it open just to blog. So Blogjet will be the first i give a spin. So far i find the UI clean and intuitive. If you have any other suggestions, let me know and i will have a closer look.
Of course for reasons of my own as well as external influences. But mostly because I have been looking in to moving out and renting a place for my own or with friends.
The problem is every time i even bring up *any* neighborhood with my mother, the answer is emphatically "that's a bad neighborhood".
It could be along the Danforth and Pape area, it could be along Yonge. It could be the Annex, anywhere. ANYWHERE.
Apparently i don't have the intellectual fortitude to decide what i'd like, what amenities i'd like to live near, or what sort of lifestyle i can lead.
I AM 27 YEARS OLD. wtf.
I am going to die a spinster.
- Mood:
bitchy
I was scammed today and i'm really debating whether i ever want to answer a door during the day again. I probabyl wouldn't have answered the door, actually, except i've been expecting a package.
I was busy doing something and some guy rang the doorbell and basically presented himself as a rep from our power company (though he never did actually say whom he worked for) and basically he managed to put our house number and name down on a form and get me to sign something for the power company to send us information about a natural gas and electricity price protection program. I even remember asking him why it said registration form, and he said it was just to send us info. Why i didn't just say no, i don't know. Later, (practically the moment i closed the door) i realized what i'd signed and my stomach hit the floor. I should have opened the door and ripped the paper out of his hand and shredded it right there.
The form was an application for the price protection program. Full stop. Not information for it, an APPLICATION to JOIN. So basically the guy lied to my face about what he was doing and now has a carbon copy of this registration form that basically signs us up for service with Summitt Energy.
So i have called their customer service number and basically they say they have to, by law, call back within 10 days to confirm, OR we can send an email, fax or registered mail prohibiting them from switching us...
But really... wtf? How is it Ontarian law allows companies to just do this so flippantly? It has got to be illegal, particularly when the guy at the door is basically banking on getting someone who obviously doesn't know what they're signing.
And to that end, I feel pretty damned stupid for being taken in on his lie. I pretty much feel like not dealing with anyone at the door again, be it someone contracted to do landscaping for us or the little boy scout and his dad down the street.
- Mood: anxious
Also, there don't appear to be any other ergonomic solutions that have the same keypress feel that keyboard keys would have.
So after looking in to the situation a bit more and googling the Nostromo again recently, I found this neat gadget from Ergodex also listed on Nostromo's Wikipedia page.
The unit is $150 USD - cheaper on some of their associated resellers. I ordered mine off ThinkGeek on Sunday and received it today via DHL.
The whole unit is about 15" wide by 10" tall, and accesses your computer via USB. It comes with 25 keys, with the capability of accepting up to 50 unique keys in total (more keys can be purchased seperately). Realistically though, for my uses, I only need about 10.
The keys are coated on the bottom with the same sort of adhesive used on lint rollers - so they stick to clean surfaces and can be washed to reactivate the stickiness if need be.
Hopefully this will help with my hotkeying problems. I hate having to run my hands all over the keyboard in search of the photoshop tool i want :/
I just got back from a work trip to NYC that spanned all of 4.5 days. This afternoon, Bell Mobility just texted me to say that I owe them over $250. Astounded, I phoned them up to see what the heck was going on, and it turns out they want $300+ for 11MB of transfer.
For a bit of comparison here, our household last month had a slight overage on bandwidth and we paid CDN $1 for each 1G over our limit.
So... really... wtf? What a scam!
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I've pretty much been holed up at home, doing stuff for work. I've just been put on a new project that is going to require the first stage done by Oct 3, and will be travelling to NYC at the end of this month to do a short seminar for a client. Things are stop and go, busy or not busy. so I have to try and keep myself busy one way or another.
Staying motivated has been the problem, and I've sorta put myself in a situation where I can't really get out of the house on weekend nights because of my existing work and personal schedule. I'm trying to extricate myself from it, but it's hard not feeling like i've given myself a ball and chain as it is.
And even if i were to get out and about, where would I go? I really have no clue.
I'm also sorta concerned that I haven't been able to sit down and get my postcards organized and sent out. I recieved them and just need to get all the addresses sorted and sent out. Personal doodling is coming and going, depending on how busy I happen to be. I need to push out some more boards for JasonM, which are already thumbnailed out. Just having trouble finding the time and motivation.
I'm also gonna have to start thinking about packing again soon. I think we take possession mid October - We'll be just south of Kingston on BrookLawn.. so a bit closer to the downtown area.
Still thinking about moving out, but it will have to happen after this move, i think. I just need to not live at home much longer after this. Is really sapping my will to live :/
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so... i've pretty much lost all my numbers.
if you have my number or think I had yours, could you please send me either an email or text so I can add you back?
Thanks!
- Location:on the bus
Who was the marketing genious on this one?
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Anyhow, here are a few selected pieces from the batch:
( Read more... )
And the link to the full 2008 section.
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I don't have photos, but I think my Dad does...
I do personally find the house a bit... 'too much'... too much for me at least. But then I was raised in neighborhoods that were wll established and known for having older homes.
This house being in this neighborhood sorta mixes that up though, since it is built in an established area. The house itself is roomy, has high ceilings, good layout, and all of the aesthetic touches my mom likes... Another selling point was that the place really demands very little additional attention, which is a good thing for my parents, I guess.
As for me? Well, I don't know whether it's just been our recent situation at the townhouse that has aggrevated the situation more, but I've really been thinking about moving out for a while now. There's a bit of autonomy that I don't and really never had, that I really really need right now, and being crowded where I am really isn't helping.
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So uhh.... Friday afternoon? They came back and cancelled.
Anyhow... Dad's back in town this Thursday, and Friday morning we should be going to see another house, on Markham, but south of Kingston Rd. Googlecamming over it yields a nice neighborhood, surprisingly. And really close to the lakeshore O_O.
Really hoping this is the one.
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Good movie.
But very depressing, given most people who pay attention to the news know that Heath Ledger took his own life a few months ago. It bothers me a lot because seeing this film now makes me think about what sorta headspace he must have been to have done that, and how he may or may not have shown signs of being in distress before he took his life.
I think i've mentioned before here how my uncle passed away, and this movie brings to mind similar memories and unhappiness.
Nevertheless, the story made a good transition to film, and I'm impressed that the method of storytelling overall was less 'superhero-ey' and more contemporary.
Will be interesting to see what the third film brings.
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Yes, again.
In November.
Not far, mind you. Still in Toronto. But to a place that's much more roomy. Hopefully less stressful than our current place. It'll be closer to Morningside, down by UoT. Seems like an older home, but must have been rebuilt at some time because it seems newer than most of the houses on the same street.
Huge lot, two story house with developed basement. HUUUUUUUGE driveway. will be giant pain to clear in winter. but nice house in developed area... and country-style interior, which is the sort of thing Mom likes very much.
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A few photos here: http://flickr.com/photos/spacylittlecowg
Not casting aside all hopes of working part/full time in Sl for the moment, but really hoping anything i do apply for is squarely related to my expertise, rather than *COMPLETELY UNRELATED* - IE: the teller job my Mom wants me to do in the mean time. It's not like there aren't listings for related work out there anyway - it's just going to take time to find the right fit.
Incidentally, I really don't see the same pressure being placed on my Dad, who is supposed to be job hunting here as well.
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I need to put together postcards and mailouts this week and actually get in gear sending em out. I finally picked up the 2008 Directory and have been picking out a bunch of places to get in touch with. It's just a matter of buckling down and getting it done.
I also need to work on more finished pieces for the portfolio, start picking out sketches I'm happy with for the website. Try to get involved with the online art communities again...
That is, if I can actually manage being a member here there and everywhere again :P
------
Also - I've joined the new D2 Ladder season.
Mission "This will not end well" commences.
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It's an anagram of my full name, but now that I think about it, it was a bad choice.
Does changing one's LJ name still cause linking issues? or does LJ automatically make the link changes now?
edit: OK - so I've gone through with it. Everything seems to have linked over properly. Now to manually change my links elsewhere...
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Revisiting that now, I'm rather happy with the customizability - even for basic members like myself.
I've chosen a basic, non-coloured theme for now. Will customize as I have the time/inclination. In any case, plain black and grey on white suits my needs currently, as far as I'm concerned.
I may even decide to post more to my SL LJ account now :P
I still need to figure out just how to filter/syndicate my friends list for Flock though.
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